Anxiety of the Barbary Coast
1. Fear that the food you are eating has had something nasty done to it. Fear that everyone else is aware of this and are secretly disgusted with you for consuming it.
2. Fear that you stepped on something nasty while walking and and it is now all over your room spreading disease and filth.
3. Fear that one day there will BE solid proof that karma does exist and you will have to ponder the horrendous deed one of your ancestors must have committed to bring this down upon your house.
4. Fear that the continous hilarity you find in the presence of babies in silent films indicates your complete inability to ever mature. Fear that your failure to take anything from these films besides asinine personal amusement at said babies will lead to problems in your film course.
5. Fear that you will get oral cancer.
6. Fear that when you lick your chapped lips people will mistakenly believe you to be making misguided sexual overtures at them.
7. Fear that many things are actually sexual references that you are unaware of. Fear that you will say one of these things in public and be mocked for naivety.
8. Fear that when you walk you accidently sway your hips too much and people will make fun of you for trying to hard.
9. Fear that people will see you carrying one your Netflix movies and mock you for having absolutely no life whatsoever.
10. Fear that people will see you eating fatty foods, then proceed to look you up and down and say "Well that seems about right."
11. Fear that other people have actually witnessed you do that stupid skipping thing you do when you're inexplicably happy.
12. Fear that you are too considerate and have become that dreaded doormat person.
13. Fear that when you buy the smallish more expensive box of cereal instead of the economy size everyone around you is passing judgement on your lack of foresight and wastefulness.
14. Fear that people will see you chewing Whitening gum and hate you for presumed vanity.
15. Fear that you have been growing dumber and dumber with every passing year.
16. Fear that one day you may actually go through with one your plans for the future (i.e. joining the merchant marines/the marines/the air force, starting a ranch in Wyoming, becoming a hobo, fisherman, truck driver or international spy) Fear that these goals do not reflect your situation or connect to any of the skill sets you currently have.
*Myfi*
2. Fear that you stepped on something nasty while walking and and it is now all over your room spreading disease and filth.
3. Fear that one day there will BE solid proof that karma does exist and you will have to ponder the horrendous deed one of your ancestors must have committed to bring this down upon your house.
4. Fear that the continous hilarity you find in the presence of babies in silent films indicates your complete inability to ever mature. Fear that your failure to take anything from these films besides asinine personal amusement at said babies will lead to problems in your film course.
5. Fear that you will get oral cancer.
6. Fear that when you lick your chapped lips people will mistakenly believe you to be making misguided sexual overtures at them.
7. Fear that many things are actually sexual references that you are unaware of. Fear that you will say one of these things in public and be mocked for naivety.
8. Fear that when you walk you accidently sway your hips too much and people will make fun of you for trying to hard.
9. Fear that people will see you carrying one your Netflix movies and mock you for having absolutely no life whatsoever.
10. Fear that people will see you eating fatty foods, then proceed to look you up and down and say "Well that seems about right."
11. Fear that other people have actually witnessed you do that stupid skipping thing you do when you're inexplicably happy.
12. Fear that you are too considerate and have become that dreaded doormat person.
13. Fear that when you buy the smallish more expensive box of cereal instead of the economy size everyone around you is passing judgement on your lack of foresight and wastefulness.
14. Fear that people will see you chewing Whitening gum and hate you for presumed vanity.
15. Fear that you have been growing dumber and dumber with every passing year.
16. Fear that one day you may actually go through with one your plans for the future (i.e. joining the merchant marines/the marines/the air force, starting a ranch in Wyoming, becoming a hobo, fisherman, truck driver or international spy) Fear that these goals do not reflect your situation or connect to any of the skill sets you currently have.
*Myfi*
posted by CNP at 10:46 PM
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