The Anxiety of a Bengal Lancer
1. Fear of waving stupidly to someone who is not waving at you.
2. Fear that you are bleeding profusely from some part of your head and don't know it. Fear that others do and are horrified.
3. Fear that you are seconds away from painful and lifelasting humiliation.
4. Fear that a teacher is about to publicly address something stupid you wrote in an assignment.
5. Fear of being 'put on the spot'.
6. Fear that people remember all of the inane things you say and think of them everytime you open your mouth to speak.
7. Fear of being a 'figure of fun'. Fear that using the phrase 'figure of fun' makes you one.
8. Fear that people actually take you seriously. They shouldn't.
9. Fear that people realize you are lying to them. Fear that they also realize that you aren't doing it for any specific purpose aside from the thrill of being dishonest.
10. Fear that you will be thinking about something embarassing and accidently verbalize it when someone addresses you suddenly.
11. Fear that a darkening sky automatically signifies a coming tornado, a fact that will become clearer when you are either
A) swept away in a howling tunnel of wind and debris or B) accosted by someone frantically shouting 'Twister! Head for the root cellar!'
12. Fear that there isn't a root cellar.
*Myfie*
2. Fear that you are bleeding profusely from some part of your head and don't know it. Fear that others do and are horrified.
3. Fear that you are seconds away from painful and lifelasting humiliation.
4. Fear that a teacher is about to publicly address something stupid you wrote in an assignment.
5. Fear of being 'put on the spot'.
6. Fear that people remember all of the inane things you say and think of them everytime you open your mouth to speak.
7. Fear of being a 'figure of fun'. Fear that using the phrase 'figure of fun' makes you one.
8. Fear that people actually take you seriously. They shouldn't.
9. Fear that people realize you are lying to them. Fear that they also realize that you aren't doing it for any specific purpose aside from the thrill of being dishonest.
10. Fear that you will be thinking about something embarassing and accidently verbalize it when someone addresses you suddenly.
11. Fear that a darkening sky automatically signifies a coming tornado, a fact that will become clearer when you are either
A) swept away in a howling tunnel of wind and debris or B) accosted by someone frantically shouting 'Twister! Head for the root cellar!'
12. Fear that there isn't a root cellar.
*Myfie*
posted by CNP at 7:04 PM
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