Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Anxiety Always Rings Twice

1. Fear that children, like dogs and other small animals, can smell your fear. Fear that they will exploit this.

2. Fear that you know better than anyone else exactly what Roosevelt was talking about.

3. Fear of acting skittish around a mentally challenged person. Fear that this will be construed as prejudice instead of just your normal behavior with anyone.

4. Fear that having the attention span of a small child with ADD will prove a hindurance to later endeavors.

5. Fear that you will actually eat Tatos one day and they really will be "dried fecking filth". You'll be endlessly disapointed.

6. Fear that being trapped in the past does nothing for your future.

7. Fear that the world is going to end.

8. Fear that when it does end, it won't be accompanied a fabulous pyrotechnics display or aliens of any kind and will just stop.

9. Fear that when walking over a subway grate it will suddenly give way and send you plunging into the path of an oncoming train.

10. Fear that you are losing your hearing.

11. Fear that if you ever do get the opportunity to punch someone in the face, your fists will reveal themselves to be tiny and inneffective.



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